Saturday, March 22, 2008

a LOST letter

Dear LOST,

Hey. It's me...How are you? It's been a while. look good. I mean things seem to be going well for you. I mean your ratings continue to be really good...your really doing well for yourself, and that makes me happy, because you know I always wanted you to be happy, so....yeah. That's great, just great.
Look I know this is a tad awkward but um,... things were left a little unclear and I just wanted to explain. You see,...I'm just going to say it,...

I've been seeing other shows.

A good friend set me up with the entire series of The Wire on dvd, and we've been spending a lot of time together. A lot of emotionally satisfying hours. I'm not saying this to try and hurt you, you know that. You and I spent days together watching both your first two seasons on dvd and I really liked fact, I guess I almost loved you. But you turned a corner in your third season, I felt like you were stringing me along....

I felt... lost.

I needed to know where you saw us going together, but every week all you kept giving me was more questions....and it pushed us apart. I needed answers.
I turned to other shows for fulfillment that I'm not proud of. American Gladiators, Top Chef, Jon and Kate plus 8. sickens me. Don't think of me as a tv whore. I'm not. I just missed you so much. Then I saw The Wire. We were together for five seasons. I still love The Wire, but it's over between us....because the series is over. But more importantly, it wasn't you.
I have to admit, my wife has still been watching you every week, and when she tells me you are on, I scoff at how "ridiculous" you are, and how "your writers are pulling your story outta their butt". But as I sit there pretending to read my magazine, I watch you from the corner of my eye...and then a tear forms in it. I want to see you again.

I want back on the island.

If you'll take me back I'll be waiting in front of my tv on Thursday at 9pm. If something else is on, I'll understand.

Just know that Oceanic Flight 815 is not has crashed onto the lonely island, that is my heart.


Anonymous said...

Hey BUDDY! Back off of MY SHOW!

If you had paid any attention to her, you'd know that she's on hiatus for a month right now - that's why she's not around for a while. Maybe she needed a break from you and your fickle ways!

AND you'd know that she's not on at 9 PM anymore! She has a NEW time! It's 10 PM now!

So ya know what? Don't pay attention to LOST. She's got a new man, now! ME! She doesn't need YOUR Neilson raiting! She and I are doing just fine!

Enjoy your WIRE! Ha!

Doug Cox said...

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42... bitch!

John S. said...

Lost is cheating on YOU with Croman, so there.

Anonymous said...

Your blog is awesome. Keep up the funny business mister. I'll come back.

I love Lost but feel the same. The office returns tonight. Soon, Lost and the Office will be showing at the same time.

What is a guy to do?

Damien said...

I had a brief, illicit affair with Lost for a season and a bit. It was before they started showing her here in Oz so I had to do as all hardcore stalkers... uh... I mean, lovers do and download her. I felt dirty and wrong but it was oh so right.

Then she changed and went mainstream and it was never the same. I look at her now and I don't even recognise her, she's not what I remember.