I was taking time to carefully back out of my driveway, when I heard yelling and a faint honking noise. I looked in the street, didn't see any cars coming....then I saw him, not 4 feet from my door. The neighbor boy, driving his Shelby Mustang Power Wheel, yelling at me for blocking the sidewalk. A third grader with road rage. His sister sitting shotgun, locked eyes with me, waved her fist in the air and shouted "move it, or lose it."
I sat there shocked for a second wondering why this kid has a nicer car than me, which was a second too long for him because he began ramming his front end into my side panel. I wasn't sure how to handle the situation. Is this now considered an accident? Do we have to swap insurance information? Or should I just get out, pick up his Mustang and toss it into the bushes?
What is with kids today? At the risk of sounding like an old man, you kids suck. You brats have everything you could ever want at your fingertips and it's never enough. For example, Legos. I had Legos growing up. Colored blocks that came with instructions with no words on them. When I would cry to my mom that I had no friends... she would say "Yeah, but you've got a lot of Legos." But my Legos sucked compared to what they are today. Look at this. You like Legos? Yes. You like Star Wars? Double Yes! Well here you go....a Lego AT-AT, instant awesomeness.
So not fair. I would have given up my Otter Pop addiction to have this as a kid. I built a Star Wars AT-AT from SCRATCH once using pieces from all of my other non-Star Wars Lego sets, because STAR WARS LEGOS WEREN'T INVENTED YET!!! It was cool except that I had to use Legos from my pirate ship set, race car sets, and happy meal Legos...which meant I ended up with a multi-colored, rainbow AT-AT that looked like it belonged in the Hoth gay pride parade. A Gay-T AT.
I think we can all agree the blame for all the bratty children should be put on the internet. So on the count of 3, let's all pull our power-strips out of the wall without safely shutting down our computers. That'll show the world wide web who's boss. Ready? one...two...thre---