Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I am an Android-American.

Just learned some interesting facts about my heritage from my Grandma. It turns out I'm Cuban, Irish, and a quarter Bionic. My Great-Grandfather, Hubert Von Cooley (on right) lost a bet while in a drunken stupor in 1894, and was under legal obligation to marry the local town robot. Her name was Lucille-5000 (on left). Hubert Von Cooley was the first to be called a "robo-sexual."
This is a picture from their wedding day.

This explains why I cry oil and my never-ending thirst to terminate.


Ryan Green said...

At least Lucille-5000 was hot.

Josh Cooley said...

Dude....that's my great-grandma you're talking about.

jesse winchester said...

That is the funniest thing ive seen in a while. I have a strange inkling of guilt, finding your ancestral heritage so hilarious!

Ryan Green said...

Man...I'm sorry. Let me rephrase... Your Great Grandma looks like a classy gal. I like her style...especially those vintage rivets along her seams. I could see myself running my hand-- DAMMIT! I'm doing it again! I'm no good at this... I'll just say your Great Grandpa's a lucky man.

Damien Baumgart said...

Dude, reading your blog brightens my day without fail.