Thursday, August 21, 2008


If you've been watching the Olympic Games in Beijing, you know the excitement of watching these great athletes perform. There's the Women's Beach Volleyball, ....that Micheal Phelps swimming guy, and.....the women's beach volleyball. Really exciting stuff.
Well I just got back from my trip to a different kind of China. Chinatown, San Francisco to be exact. That's where this year's Hobo-lympics are underway and BOY what a great year! The opening ceremony was amazing! Hearing the Hobo-lympic theme being played only on washboards and the spoons is truly beautiful.
I was lucky enough to see famous hobo-athlete 'Skitts McRash' compete against rookie 'Janky DownFly' in the 100 meter Run-n-Babble event. Then we grabbed a couple cans of Hobo-lympic sponsored baked beans and caught 'Stinks Malloy' go head to head against 'Professor Scabs' in the Floor Spare Change competition, brought to you by Subway. (Well it was in front of a Subway, anyhow)
There was even some alleged scandal when 'Knifey "the knife" Stabstab', attacked 4 time gold medal winner 'Twitchy SkullCap Jitters' (pictured above) with the metal lid of a cat food container during the BackAlley Dumpster Diving competition. Even with deep lacerations, Jitters took the gold and during the awards ceremony, used his middle fingers to show the audience who was "number one". (It was ironic considering the "metal" around his neck was made from a cat food lid.)
We were about to catch my favorite game, the Individual Obscenity Screaming event, when the police showed up and put an end to the games early this year. But before that, I did get to talk for a bit to 8 time Gold medal winner for the Bindle Toss, hobo-lympic star 'Gums McRazor' which was a treat. I asked him how confident he felt this year about bringing home the gold, and he said to me, "I can gold MY OWN time with the devil and a wiffle ball bat, scruffy." Then he picked a fight with a parking meter.



Dude! You were there, too?

Did you catch the Men's 400-meter Sleeping-On-A-Park-Bench Relay? Wow! "Crocodile Stank" Malloy was amazing! That one was down to the wire!

God Bless America.

Bill Robinson said...

Hah! Did you know there is a real Homeless World Cup?

Andy Erekson said...

It's good to see that the Irish are being represented. I didn't realize there were so many Irish hobo athletes. Who knew?

Josh Cooley said...

Actually sonoferek, they aren't Irish. Skitts McRash is half drifter/half McDonald's.

Anonymous said...


You need to tell Peter Sohn to start a blog. I really hope Peter has a story for the upcoming Afterworks 3 book. His last one was amazing.

Vince said...

personally, i've always been a fan of the men's overcoating competition.

Apparently Curbside Gjersten of Fillmore Street broke the old record of 14 coats. Quite the upset for the favorite, Lil' Whiskers.

Andy Erekson said...

Mr. Cooley, thanks for clearing that up, it makes sense that they're half McDonald's. McDonald's tends to sponsor every Olympic event.

Doug Cox said...

What a controversy when we found out chinatown's hometown hobos were overage. And when officials asked for the medals back, they simply pointed to a pile of their own waste behind a dumpster.

EL GRANDE said...


Joe y Elio