Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Part Duex ...with UPDATE!

One of the highlights of my blogging career was when I interviewed my friend, Nick Sung, because I found out he was Canadian. Like me, I know a lot of you cyberspace surfers out there are confused about Canadians and you want to know who they are and what makes them tick. That interview was a global success, yet somehow, I still wasn't Canadian-ly satisfied. Imagine my joy when another good friend of mine, James Robertson, came up to me and said, "Hey, I'm Canadian too." I grabbed his hands and jumped around in a circle while laughing maniacally. He agreed to be interviewed if i stopped touching him.
So here it is folks, Another edition of....

Professor Cooley- Annnnnnnnd......we're back. Welcome to "Conversations with Canadians", I'm your (American) moderator and host, Professor Cooley. This is Part 12B of our 43 part series. Today my guest from the icy slopes of Canada, is Canadian Canada dweller, James Robertson. Welcome James.

James Robertson (Canadian)- Hi, thanks for having me.

Professor Cooley- So this isn't my first time interviewing a Canadian. I once interviewed Canadian, Nick Sung. You know him?

James Robertson (Canadian)- Yeah. Hes my friend.

Professor Cooley- Wow, you Canadians ARE friendly, aren't you? AH Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

(long awkward pause)

Professor Cooley- Are you in the U.S. of A. for business or pleasure?

James Robertson (Canadian)- business, definitely business. However, California is pleasurable.

Professor Cooley- In your personal opinion, why do you think America is #1?

James Robertson (Canadian)- Because China hasn't taken over yet. I give it 3 years.

Professor Cooley- Ha! Dream on, Canuck! America doesn't rely on China for anything. Next question.... Which song makes you cry more...You're a Grand Old Flag, Battle Hymn of the Republic, or Springsteen's Born in the U.S.A.?

James Robertson (Canadian)- Raining Blood by Slayer.

Professor Cooley- Ah yes, Canada's national anthem.... The word "Canada" sounds like it's Spanish or something...what's it mean?

James Robertson (Canadian)- I think it's Indian. It means "awesome".

Professor Cooley- Every time I see a Mountie, I laugh. Are Mounties taken seriously in Canada?

James Robertson (Canadian)- It depends. If they're not armed and riding a horse... no. But if they are armed and riding a motorcycle... no.

Professor Cooley- America has a "President" who's job is to run the country, and clean up the mess left by the previous President. Who's running things up there in Canada?

James Robertson (Canadian)- The Canadian equivalent of republicans. So.... the democrats.

Professor Cooley- I typed 'Canada' into the internet, and a bunch of stuff came up that I didn't have time to read. Explain Canada to me in two sentences or less. Preferably less.

James Robertson (Canadian)- The cleaner, less populated and less scary version of the States, eh.

Professor Cooley- What the hell is boxing day? Is that when Canadians celebrate the birth of baby Sugar Ray Robinson?

James Robertson (Canadian)- It's the day after Christmas when you return the #&@% you got and don't want. They also have sales on electronics and such.

Professor Cooley- In Canada, how old do you have to be to get your dog sled license?

James Robertson (Canadian)- Is this interview almost over?

Professor Cooley- You know Pamela Anderson? She's from Canada.

James Robertson (Canadian)- Who?

Professor Cooley- The Canadian flag is just a leaf and some lines, right? I've come up with some better designs, and your welcome. Which one to you like, I mean, which one do you love the most?

James Robertson (Canadian)- It's getting kinda late....

Professor Cooley- Mmmm Hmmm......that Pamela Anderson! I'd pour maple syrup on THOSE stacks of pancakes! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

James Robertson (Canadian)- I have to leave now.

James Robertson is like that one REALLY talented friend you have, who is SO friendly and nice, that you want to punch them in the face. He's smart, funny, a great guy, he enjoys sports, leisure activities, fine foods, and long walks on the beach. But SORRY ladies....he's taken by his equally talented wife. Think I'm a liar? Think there's no way James could be THAT talented AND nice? Well, BRING IT! and check out his awesome work for yourself, fool!

James Robertson's Blog, THE IRON SCYTHE

Pamela Anderson is the new Queen of Canada. In other news, I am moving to Canada.

1 comment:

Murray Huber 3rd said...

Your blog is growing on me. I can't stop laughing and look forward to your wackiness.

So funny.