Wednesday, April 2, 2008

My Future Visit


Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have been just a little crazy. I'm trying to play catch-up with my email and taxes and stuff because I've been gone for 17 years. I have this rare condition that kicks in whenever I bump my head like on a cabinet door, or when I lie down for a nap and sleep past 5pm, or when I put on someone else's prescription glasses. The scientist that does tests on me thinks that the electrons in my brain rapidly change from one energy state to another in a single continuous jump and my subconscious randomly stops somewhere along my cerebral timeline. So without getting too technical...It's easy for me to accidentally time travel. It's really annoying. Especially when I keep going back to the 80s. Ugh, it's awful.
This time I was playing with my little niece who hit me on the head with a plastic sand shovel. I fell straight back, landing hard on the Gymboree coloring table, my eyes rolled back into my skull, then it was bye bye 2008, hello year 5065 A.A. (After Apocalypse). It's rare that I fall into the future so this was kinda interesting.


SPOILER WARNING! If you don't want to hear about what happens in the future, read no further.

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The future is kinda boring. It's not like in the movies. The future has newer, shinier stuff, but everything is mostly the same as it is now. The HoverCars still run on gas, PoliceBots occasionally brutally beat the innocents, and our Earth's master commander and Supreme leader, Kurlan 5, is still at war with Iraq. I was pleased to see however that Blu-rays are still the preferred, popular format for home viewing of movies. Yes!
So I pretty much just walked around for a while, then got bored. So I decided to come back to 2008. In order to travel through time again, I have to befriend someone without telling them who I am, and help them through a problem that teaches them a life lesson. It's exactly the plot of Quantum Leap. Don't ask why, that's just how it works. So I helped free some enslaved Mercurian children and taught them about the gift of sharing, and I jumped back to 1991.
I was tired of helping people so i just decided to relive 17 years of my live again. I knew what was going to happen anyway, so it was a cakewalk. And now I've finally caught back up to where i was before.

Time to spank my niece. This plastic shovel should do the trick.

8 comments:

JeremySaliba said...

QUANTUM LEAP RULES

Josh Cooley said...

Ah, it's that darn saliba kid vandalising my blog again!

Go on! Git! Git! (shakes a rake in the air)

Nat said...

Look, it's someone new commenting on your blog. Please read below for my thoughts.

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Jon McNally said...

Just stumbled from Enrico's blog into yours. You are a funny, funny man, Josh Cooley.

Doug Cox said...

I've been waiting to get back to the present for the last 28 years.

Munchanka said...

But dinosaurs...have we brought the dinosaurs back yet in 5065?? And about the image you've chosen: it's been over 3000 years, and we still haven't dealt with male-pattern baldness? Fer Pete's sake!

Duncan said...

Just stumbled upon your blog from Enrico's - you're kinda hilarious. No really.

edilavorochefai said...

hi, I really like your illustrations!!!
:)

ilaria